well I guess this is somewhat a journal now. whatever.
😥 again. again, I was fooled. thinking something was finally going right between us…and all so suddenly…
“You don’t know what’s going on, do you?”
“Um, no, I can’t even hear what you’re saying”
“EXACTLY” (Not wanting to tell me…possibly a sign? possibly me just getting worked up…yea, that’s it.)
*writes ‘Caitlyn!’ on a paper”
*is stabbed in the heart (metaphorically) by the meer mention of him loving liking someone else*
“You like her?”
“Not exactly. well, yea, that’s part of it.”
*OHHHH THEYRE GOING OUT. WONDERFUL*
So, once again, I am thrown into despair. People tell me that since she’s such a flirt and do to her LAST never-ending-on-and-off relationship, they won’t last, and “just think how happy you’ll be when it ends!”
Here’s the deal:
I don’t care WHEN it ends. when it does i will not be happy. my heart will break. not for me, but for him.
Why am I so invisible? What is it that’s so different about us? What is it about her that’s just not me?
She’s a brunette, I’m a redhead?
She’s in orchestra, I’m in band?
She’s a cheerleader, I’m not flexible enough to be one?
…She’s your girlfriend…and I’m not…?